“If the shoe fits, wear it!” is a popular slogan we hear from time to time. I think it may mean something like “if it works for you then by all means, do it” or something like that. But, wearing a shoe has many other meanings to me. For most of my life, I have wondered why humans were so different. I have always loved to “people watch” at the mall. I loved having jobs where I got to work with people and was always so intrigued by what made them excited, sad, mad, joyful, etc. I love meeting someone new and asking them 103,264 questions about themselves. The new popular trend of studying the enneagram has been super interesting to me. I have taken so many personality tests to see why I am the way I am and why others around me are the way they are. I have a sister. Even though we are birthed from the same mother, raised in the same home and look similar, we handle stress and joy so differently! I have four children. Each of them is so very different in the way they express fear, anger, joy, love and hurt. My husband (even though we are the same on the enneagram test) is very different from me. I work for my church and the people I work with and family in Christ that I associate with are all different from me. I love that we are all different! It makes life so exciting! (and hard sometimes too)
A lot of times we are called upon for moral or spiritual support from friends and family. Sometimes it just happens in passing while having a conversation with someone. But how in the world are we supposed to encourage someone if they are so different from us?
My husband works for a company that helps delinquent boys make a change for the better in their lives. They are boys that have done some really horrible things sometimes. Sometimes I wonder how he keeps from getting angry at them after hearing countless stories of the way they have battled with sin and hurting others in their lives? He has a mentality that helps him put himself in their “shoes” before judgement. Through his job, he has learned to stop and see things from their perspective. He is able to look at how they were raised, and what habits they have learned growing up that could cause them to act the way they do.
Because of this, it has taught me to step back and “put myself in some else’s “shoes” before I judge and it has been life changing! I judge others way less because I am able to see why they may make different choices about things. For instance, one way I love to serve others is by having them into my home, loving on them, cooking for them and having an encouraging conversation. To someone else, this may seem like a horrible way to spend their time! I used to not understand this mentality and judge others for not “being the hands and feet of Jesus”. Now, I look at others and appreciate that God has called them to serve in another way because they can serve in ways that I can’t. Maybe because they have lived life in a way entirely different than me, they are able to easily talk with homeless people, or tutor chemistry students (No thank you!) or change elderly diapers or go to another country to preach the gospel!
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes also helps us to see that we all hurt in different ways and when we do, we all handle it differently. Some turn to anger and lash out, some cry, some like to be alone, some bury it deep and hide it. Sometimes it takes us awhile but we can see that someone is acting differently because they are hurting. Author, Lysa TerKeurststates “Oh, friend…if we’d only walk a couple miles in someone else’s journey, I can almost guarantee a couple of things. We’d be less harsh, less apt to think we would do better, less tempted to think we know stuff we don’t really know. And much more willing to just give them a band aid for their blisters, a kind prayer, and a glass of ice cold lemonade.”
Friends, let’s judge less and put ourselves in someone’s shoes more often! It’s tempting to try to put ourselves in some nice shiny shoes (I like pretty things) but let’s try some of those old worn out ratty ones for a change. Let’s walk a mile in those old, holey, stinky work boots and share some love.
Lindsey
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