Life is full of many wonderful and exciting things, but it can become painful or tragic. When I was a little girl I was in such a hurry to grow up, instead of living in the moment as a child. As I progressed through high school everything was different, more temptations, peer pressure, and constantly feeling like I was lost. I had a happy childhood and two amazing parents who loved me dearly, but I still felt a gaping hole in my chest. I grew up in church most of my life, but I wasn’t where I needed to be in Christ. At a (very) young age, I gave away a precious gift in hopes of finding myself “worthy” in the eyes of my previous love. My first love, what an amazing, but painful experience it was. We were inseparable from the start, until one day we weren’t. I fell head over heels in love, and I honestly thought this was it, the one for me. Have you ever heard the expression, “Love is blind?” I can say that statement was true in my case. I had no idea that I was in a toxic relationship, and I finally realized that we were poisoning each other. He broke my heart, just like I did his. I began to spiral deeper into my own chaotic mess, and I no longer had control of the wheel. I wasn’t myself anymore, and my parents took a notice in it, but at the time I didn’t want their help. I looked to other things that I thought would fill my empty heart, but it only satisfied my aching soul for a short period of time. My friends were gone, my relationship with my parents was messy, and I just felt useless.As I got older my anxiety and depression increased dramatically. I didn’t want to leave my house, all I wanted was to be alone. At the age of eighteen, I finally quit running from my problems, and I came crashing into God’s presence. If it wasn’t for the mercy God showed me, and placing a praying momma in my life, I don’t know where I would be at today. I want you to know that NO man decides your value, because we are all beautifuland worthy in Christ’s eyes. Lust, deceit, and peer pressure are nothing but lies from the enemy. It took me three years to figure out that I AM worthy, I AM a daughter of Christ, and he is the reason for my wonderful life. I do regret the decisions I made, but my walk with Christ is so connected, and I am an overcomer from it. My path wasn’t always straight and narrow, but there was a time that it was filled with many twists and turns. I am thankful that he brought me out of my own despair and depression, because I had become a living zombie. The Lord has blessed me tremendously with a beautiful life, wonderful friends, and mended the brokenness in my family. I am now very good friends with ex, and we have put aside our differences and forgave each other. I still suffer with anxiety, but I know that the Lord is by my side fighting every battle. I want to leave youwith a verse, that has helped me in my walk with God. “I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit. Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:1-5, NIV). I pray that someone will receive something from this story, because it was laid heavily on my heart to write it. God bless you all.
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